New love in town

“Mayagai diroya guoko di uriri gigarura gahutia runyodo!” He said amidst laughter. I could hear the conversation from my end. The walls were thin. Single room. He was speaking in his mother tongue. Some words were vulgar. I swear the person on the other end was laughing. I was. Perhaps his jaw-bone had dislocated. Of course it was a he. Men can’t have such conversation with a fellow woman. Naaah we desist!

“So how’s your new wife?” I assumed the guy on the other line asked that.

“She’s fine. She’s pretty and she is so hard-working. It is what made me to fall for her. Actually right now she’s at work but she is about to come home.” My neighbour answered.
I looked at the time and it was 7:29 p.m.

Knock knock! She was there after a few microseconds.

“Brathe we tutaongea baadaye. Amefika.” He hanged up.

On opening the door, there were chuckles. I assumed maybe they were kissing. Newly wedded couples are cute. They were in love. This was the second day since I saw this lady. She looked around 28 years.

“Babe I missed you,” she said in a nagging voice wanting attention.
“I missed you too.” The husband replied. “How was work?”
“It was good though I’m tired,” she trailed on, “A massage could do wonders.”

I don’t know what the ‘massage’ led to. Damn these walls. Coitus took place. I don’t want to go into the details but it was fun from their side😂😂

The next day I looked at them with those eyes “I heard you two last night. We should shoot a video. It would sell!”

I imagine them being asked by a random guy, “How did you two meet?”
“I had gone there to wash his clothes and I realized this man’s dirty so I decided to overstay. Here I am 12 years later still doing laundry but more of conjugal rights.”
Congratulations neighbour. Two elfs👏👏



She fought, but lost to cancer

“I thought I had it all figured out,” Sicily said almost to herself. She was helpless, thin and couldn’t move much. Her eyes possessed a little hope deep down but her body was betraying her. There was little or no flesh between her skin and her skeleton.

“What haven’t you achieved though?” I asked.

She stared at the ceiling as if she was reading some old scriptures to depict an answer. I waited. Patiently.

“I have nothing,” her voice trembled. It was weak. She swallowed a lump.

“Help me with a glass of water please.”

I obliged. She couldn’t hold the glass stable enough because her body was shaking. I helped her take some small gulps.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yes. Thank you.”She then trailed on,”I have lost everything I had. My health, my happiness, my family, my job, my friends and…,”she paused amidst as if she had forgotten something important.

“And what?” I asked calmly.

There was silence in that room. Sicily was hospitalised about a month ago. She was diagnosed with a deadly cancer on the 4th stage. It started like a small lump on her leg which she ignored. It wasn’t painful at all. After like a year, she was screened and it was found she had blood cancer. I don’t know the kind but yes, her blood was cancerous.

“… and I am about to lose my life,” she said in so much despair that I could feel tears forming in my eyes.

Indeed, the doctors didn’t promise anything about her survival, but they had said they will try their very best to stabilize her.

“You gonna beat this,” I assured her.

“Mike don’t dare do that! These are my last days. There are no hopes. I overheard one of the nurses telling her colleague that I won’t make it out alive. Kinda, it is true. I’m ready to die.”

Her words sunk in my stomach. I felt numb. I cursed myself I couldn’t help her. Tears flowed. I wanted to hug her, but I was afraid I would choke her to death. I said a short prayer.

“Sicily, I pray you will be fine and go back to your family. You can survive cancer. I believe so.”

All this time I noticed she had closed her eyes. She wasn’t moving. Her breathing was slow.

“Ti ti ti”…the machine besides her went on. A doctor stormed in.

“Sir, I ask you to step out please,” the nurse authoritatively said pointing at the door. My legs couldn’t move. They felt buttered. I dragged myself out. I peeped at the window. Something was wrong. Few doctors rushed in. She avalanched.

A nurse came out…”we lost her. We tried…”

My mind got lost. I didn’t hear the rest of the words. My heart was dark. I was a walking corpse. It felt like para news. My eyes squinted, like they were in a strabismus state. She was gone. Forever. Tears.


Silent cries (Part 2)

“I want it colder than the first one,” I said to Nick as he disappeared again.

We sat there waiting for the club’s manager. Ashlyn had came to try her luck by looking for a job at Greenspot. I was there, to stand by her, at the trying moment(well, since I knew the place better)

“Mike, what will I do?” She asked sounding tired but hiding it with a fake smile.

“Let’s wait for the manager first of all. There are a bit of hope you’ll get work here. If not, we will wander around dropping your CV at any place as long as they are hiring or will consider hiring.”

She was staring in a manner that I didn’t think she even heard what I said. Her body was with me but her mind was elsewhere. A sad affair.

“It’s fine. I will do anything possible to get myself a job.”

“Everything will be fine,” I concluded.

Honestly, my mind went back to the last bit of texts. I couldn’t hide my curiosity.

“Ashlyn, what about this?” I asked a little bit scared

“About what?”

“You are pregnant, right? You want to terminate it, yes?”

“Yes. I don’t want another kid right now. My life hasn’t been easy with my daughter and I don’t want more burden.”

“What about your boyfriend? Is he aware about this?” I asked.

“Yes. In fact he will help me with cash to abort it and since I don’t want my future with him, I want to break up with him. He’s aware of everything. I don’t want to be hurt or hurt him at the end.” She said firmly but deep down her voice weakened at the end.

Her relationship wasn’t the ‘normal ones’. It was tough, on and off kind of relationship. They fought, several times, maybe twice or thrice. She assured me she had fought for it and she couldn’t do it anymore. Her to-be ex-boyfriend provoked her one evening. She had gone to his place for a shoulder to lean on. What started like a normal conversation ended up into laptop broken, phone smashed and insults hurled. Her clothes were thrown out of “their” house and he shouted at her amidst tenants that were aware of the commotion, “I will take you to do the abortion as you want.”

At this point she said she didn’t care. She felt useless and ready to start life anew. Her sentiments were that her boyfriend was flirting with other girls and didn’t give a heck about her. She went home, perhaps crying ( I just imagined that)

It was like an hour or so when the manager arrived. She produced her CV and was assured she gonna be called after confirming with the HR. After that we left, hoping she would get the weekend job. We wandered around, trying our luck somewhere else. Nevertheless, our day never went futile☺

She’s now hired. Greenspot! Green pasture! Adamant!

PS: Women, girls, ladies, don’t ever settle in an abusive relationship. If your man can’t be there to treat you like the Queen you are, don’t get yourself depressed. Walk out if it can’t work out!


Silent cries (Part 1)

“Mike I’m so confused. My life is in shambles. I need this job so bad,” Ashlyn sighed with disdain in her voice.

We were seated at the entrance of Greenspot, a club along Ruiru-Ruai bypass.

She trailed on, “I swear I am broke as fuck. I got only 200 bob with me. Rent is almost due. 11 days remaining and I haven’t gotten anything worthwhile.”

Her voice trembled, her eyes turned watery. I wanted to stand up and hug her but my buttocks were glued on the wooden seat.

“Waiter…” I called. “Two sodas please. Cold. Bring me Fanta passion.”

“What about you madame?”

“I’m okay. We will share his.”

I looked at her then proceeded, “no problem. Bring one then.”

“Who gonna pay?” She asked. “The small soda hapa ni 100 bob!”

“Don’t worry. I gatchu.” I assured her.

The waiter, Nick, then meandered to the counter on our far left.

“Let me show you something.” She said as she unlocked her phone. “Read this conversation I had with my boyfriend. Don’t scroll too fast there are chats I don’t want you to see.”

The latter made me curious. I swear I wanted to start from top to the last full stop if there was any.

I read in silence, the chats having all my attention. To be frank, her boyfriend was supportive but at the same time afraid of the things they had at hand.

“I want to break up with him.” She said. The utterances solidified the train of thoughts on my mind.

“Wait what?! But why?” I was astonished as I sipped my soda to hide the dryness my tongue possessed. I swear the sun was in the very room. The temperature was maybe 43°C.

“Long story.”

“Then make it brief. I’m always here for you. You can count on me.”

“Mike I feel like crying.” She meant her words. Her eyes were shining, with hopelessness, dismay and tears had formed.

“Please don’t do it. I will get emotional.”


“Nick, another soda please.”

Drunk decision

“So what do you look for in a girl?” Leah asked almost to herself but loud enough for me to hear.
“Personality is the key.” I said sipping my maybe third, fourth, fifth or whatever bottle of beer.
We were at the balcony of the bar catching up as long-lost friends facing each other as if we were having a math contest.
“That’s so ambiguous. I need to hear something concrete.” Leah challenged me.

“Well, I need a woman who can be my wife and a mother to our kids. A personality that will turn me on. She can be so pretty on the facade but if her personality is trash, she’s ugly to me. I need someone I can relate with. A pussy can’t keep me but a good woman at heart can.” I concluded with a sigh. Leah breathed hard. I had won!
“That’s nice but…” she paused.

“But what?”

“Have you found yourself such a woman?”
I thought hard before answering this. My train of thoughts was not even disturbed by the music playing on the background. Some jazz.

“To be honest, yes and no,” I finally said.
“What do you mean yes and no?” Kwani hujui what you want?

“I mean yes because I know she exists. Actually she’s in my life and I crave her so bad and no because she hasn’t realized that yet. She doesn’t give a fuck about me. Holy Jesus Christ on a biscuit! I don’t know.”
I felt a lump in my throat. I almost choked.
She looked at me and dead serious said,
Mike I love you and you haven’t realize that yet. I care for you. If you need a shoulder to lean on, I am a call away.

I felt at ease on hearing her say that. She was beautiful. Her round face ornamented with baby hair and a touch of lippie and perfectly drawn eyebrows. Her eyes were dazzling. They shone under the disco lights.

“Let’s go home. To my place.”

I didn’t even think twice. Off we chucked, hand in hand, the bar behind us playing “Fire on fire by Sam Smith.”

I just hope we ain’t drunk. Anyway, whatever! My mind concluded.
Indeed, she was glowing. Voluptuous!


My girlfriend who isn’t my girlfriend

“I promise I won’t get attached.” I said courageously lying to my heart. I was already attached to her. A stranger I had met online. We became buddies on phone, but we hadn’t yet met.
“Are you sure?” She asked like a delving CID. I felt guilty.
“Yeah sure but I can’t wait to see your ass.” I concluded pushing the lie at the back of my head.
To be honest, I was in love with this girl. Brush off the physical appearance, her personality was beautiful, sexy. Talking to her was therapeutic. I was happy to be her friend. Mentally, she was like my secret elf.

Days passed, weeks flew and we finally met. I was excited and I couldn’t hide it. The day turned out to be beautiful, more than I had expected.
“Is this lust or love?” My mind was wandering.
“No. It can’t be lust. This is love.”

Later that evening we had to part ways. I felt like the love of my life was being snatched away from me. I didn’t want to see her go. My heart was heavy. I wanted her to fall in my arms and hug her tightly. I felt tears. I wasn’t fucking ready but I restrained. Damn!
Off she boarded a matatu. I felt empty. I gave her the look of “please-come-back” but it didn’t happen. I was in love. Whatever!
I walked lazily to board a matatu to home. I couldn’t tell what was happening around me. She was on my mind. I was attached. I craved her but yet, she was nowhere to be found. Cuckoo!


An illusion of my struggling life

I stared at my blank page upset-minded wondering what to write to ease up my mind. Illusions of where my life came from and where it was headed started streaming on my mind. “Is this where I belong?” Rhetorically I asked myself.

My life was pejorating. My mental state was fucking me up. I cried asking help from God, but we didn’t have that type of bond. I felt so damn humiliated, and I was so close to the fucking edge instead of being closer to Him.

God, who are you? Where is the proof? Do you really exist? I’m human what am I supposed to do?” My inner thoughts demanded answers which humans couldn’t provide.

I had painted the wall for someone to see my cry for help but no one got the picture. The more I tried to move on and balance, the more I seemed to fall. It was hard to let go my past because that was the only thing I could keep. They said life was bitter-sweet but the bitterness was what I had tasted. Falling out, looking up, but I was feeling down.

Now, I can’t see what I’ve become and I don’t need this empty love. Life has become a wall that I’m climbing with a past on my shoulders. I no longer know what/who to believe but one thing for sure is either regrets or I start over once again.

Winding up, with tears rolling down silently making the piece of paper wet, I was nonchalant. Better. Epiphany!